A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.

A fool’s brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

Criminals do not die by the hands of the law. They die by the hands of other men.

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.

I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

Lack of money is the root of all evil.

Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability.

Self-sacrifice enables us to sacrifice other people without blushing.

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.

All great truths begin as blasphemies.

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.

When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

Beware of the man whose God is in the skies.

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.

Youth, which is forgiven everything, forgives itself nothing: age, which forgives itself everything, is forgiven nothing.

Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

I never resist temptation because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me.

[Autorem wszystkich cytowanych maksym jest George Bernard Shaw; czcionką pogrubioną wyróżniono te, które są mrówkodzikowi szczególnie bliskie]